I am taking a Position at Monsanto.

   I have mixed feelings writing this blog, on one hand I am going to miss my patients but on the other hand I was presented an opportunity that could not be passed up. I was offered a position at Monsanto this week. They actually first just offered me a salary to just stop blogging and posting bad stuff about them, but then they upped the ante and offered me a full time position. I know what you are thinking, how could I? And before we go in to all the studies that link Monsanto GMOs and pesticides to cancer, even the one that the World Health Organization put out last week, which I am suppose to say was "junk science". But before we get in to all that, just think about how convenient our products are. Don't you love being able to spray all the weeds around your house with roundup? I mean make sure your kids don't play around it, or let your dogs drag it in, but it makes life so easy right? I knew you would agree. Or just think how would we be able to grow corn without changing the DNA? I mean I know people had been growing it for thousands of years before all this stuff existed, but let's be real that's too hard. Our GMO plants can with stand anything! I don't really have time to go through all our products, but trust me when I say we make the world a better place, even though our recent stock price isn't necessarily reflecting that. But who else would beef up cows before slaughter and be changing all these genetic codes made for human consumption. Good, I knew we were on the same page. Anyway, again sad to say goodbye, but to be honest Monsanto is paying me a fortune. Well, see you later, and remember buy conventional! Organic is just a fad.



April Fools!